I hate my life. And saying that makes me hate myself. I know I have it better than most people my age. But I can't help but feel the way I feel. Everyday my life gets more and more confusing. It's like everything I do, say or touch turns to shit, or messes up. Especially in my home. I don't like being the black sheep of my family, but It's something I gotta work.
How can you be so happy, but so upset at the same time? The only thing that's keeping me afloat is Kevin.
I also feel like I should probably stop being such a stoner. What once started as a small drug I used only on the weekends turned into something I do ATLEAST 2 times a day. I'm spending so much money on it, and it's starting to wear me down. People always say that smoking pot is good for you, and all that mumbojumbo, but I can feel myself getting dumber. I think partially the reason why I'm so upset and have such a low self esteem is because I smoke so much pot. Ha.
...........but fuck it. If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die high.
That's so juvenile to say, but who the fuck cares.